


Bridge over troubled water

by berrynthewood



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, First Time, Healing Old Wounds, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Smut, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 22:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20955848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrynthewood/pseuds/berrynthewood
Summary: As months goes by, Haruki and Akihiko are still avoiding any attempt to level up their relationship to the physical stage.But one day, all of it backfired for the worst...





	Bridge over troubled water

**Author's Note:**

> From @Ishipithard [prompt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20332396)

It suddenly happened like a spark light a fire.

They were dating for some months now. It felt comforting. Well, there had been some awkward moments at first. With a brand new relationship comes a new way to look at each other. But they managed it, naturally. Time was on their side. So far, they lived off soft kisses, late evening cuddles and chaste sleeping nights. Occasionally, they shared some bold touches and heated kisses, but never did they crossed that line. It was planted in their subconscious minds. Two steps ahead, one step behind.

It wasn't like they didn't want to. It was more like an automatic emergency switch in their brain was cuting off their rising lust.

They didn't talk about it.

And maybe they should.

Because one day, it just wasn't enough anymore.

They came home late from practice, satisfied. All things were going miraculously for the best with the band. They exchanged some jokes and teased each other on the way, gently raising their mutual desire. And by the door, the sexual tension was palpable. _Two steps ahead, one step behind_. That's when they went straight to the forbidden third step. No, they blew it.

Haruki barely closed the door when he felt two broad arms clutching him from behind. He made a surprised yelp and dropped the keys. Akihiko lowered his head and planted an open-mouthed kiss on Haruki's neck, spreading a wild shiver across his lover's body. The cold metal from the piercing burned his way up to the jaw.

“Haruki...” he whispered, his lips moving at ear level. He was rewarded by a weak whimper, hands gripping his wrists. That's were it should have ended. Usually, Haruki would have brushed him off gently. But right now, he was actually leaning back and tilting his head, like an invitation. Spurred on by the lack of refusal, he couldn't help himself and bit gently the earlobe next, as an experiment. And to Akihiko's surprise, Haruki whirled around and kissed him shamefully, his hands roaming his chest. _Too much_. Safety switch pulverized. The room felt abrutly hot and all senses went overdrive. Akihiko shoved one hand in the silky honey-colored hair in despair, the other still strongly wrapped around Haruki as he deepened the kiss. The previous weak whimpers were replaced by soft moans. They stumbled across the room, hands still exploring every body's features, lips turning red by the fervent bitting they gave to one another. Haruki's gestures were clumsy but desperate as Akihiko started moving his hand underneath the hem of his shirt, flesh against flesh, driving him crazy.

When they reached the sofa, they broke their mouths apart, both panting hard. Something snapped in Akihiko's mind. Was it because of all the frustration pilling up inside of him ? Or that craving look into Haruki's eyes ? Maybe the fact that he was now really aware of the bulk growing against him. _God_.

He tossed Haruki roughly on the couch and straddled him. His hands rushed their way up and down Haruki's torso like his life depended of it. He urged forward and nibbled his jaw. He felt nails scratching his shoulders but his excessive arousing had blinded him. He wasn't aware of the body going stiff below him. Nor the sudden change in Haruki's breathing as his movements were becoming more aggressive.

Caught in the moment, he slipped a hand inside Haruki's pants. That's when he realized. All sign of desire had vanished on the spot. He pulled away and was suddenly struck in horror. Haruki was shaking. Not from anticipation. From _fear_. His eyes were wide and his mouth slighty open, breath stuck in his throat.

The world stopped around them as they stared at each other, speechless.

They should have talked about _that_.

After what seemed like an endless wait in agony, Akihiko moved away and sat at the far end of the sofa.

“I... I'm so sorry...” he wrapped his arms around his knees and burried his head down. He clenched his hands so hard his nails dug into it mercilessly.

Another unbearable silence. Only disturbed by the ticking clock.

“I should go home” mumbled Akihiko, voice strained. He rose suddenly from his seat and headed toward the door. That's when Haruki snapped out of his traumatic state.

“Wait !” he jumped on his feet and ran after him. Akihiko ignored his call and crouched to grab his jacket unceremoniously threw on the floor previously. He was stopped midway by a hand pulling him backward by the shirt.

“Please, look at me !” Haruki's voice trembled despite all brave he wanted to sound. But his hand was rejected hashly.

“Don't touch me !” Akihiko faced him and Haruki could see all the agony passing through his face. Those beautiful green eyes usually sparkling with a bit of malice were now clouded in distress. It was painful to watch.

“Can't you see I'm a fucking failure !” he was shouting by now “Even after all this time working myself to be better I'm still making the same mistake over again !” he shook his head, breath jerky “Worthy, my ass...”

“What are you going on about ?!”

“I just told you ! Don't make me say it again”

“I think we should talk...”

“About what ? My ability to make you unconfortable ?”

It was too much for Haruki to stand. _Unconfortable ?_ Was that really what he thought ? He gathered his courage and slapped his hands on each side of Akihiko's face, forcing him to shut up. Then he brought his head close, hands still framing Akihiko's face, and looked straight into his eyes.

“Kaji Akihiko, I want you to listen to me carefully now” he drew in a long breath and closed his eyes. He had to be brave. For both of them. Resolve finally made, he opened his eyes again, revealing two ambers orbs, lightened with compassion.

“What happened... _back then_... can't be erased." 

Akihiko's mouth twitched in pain but Haruki was now rubbing gently his thumbs across his cheeks, to sooth him.

"And when you touch me recklessly like this, I'm afraid of breaking apart... And, it still scares me when I feel _things_ are going out of control...” Haruki smiled soflty before adding “But, I forgive you. We'll find a way. That's all love is about right ?”

Akihiko didn't move an inch, his facial expression still stuck in astonishment as his brain was processing what he just heard. He never asked for forgiveness. Because he was conviced to not deserve it. He skipped this part and got straight to redemption, trying everyday to be better, even after winning Haruki's heart back. But, he missed the most important thing all the way. Something evident.

“... Communication” the word came out loud from his mouth.

“Eh ?” Haruki's hands dropped from Akihiko's face, surprised.

“...Ah... well, yes... I shouldn't have waited this long... so I guess we share the blame” he stared down, apologetic. He wasn't ready for the reaction following his words. Because, after a brief quiet moment, Akihiko actually bursted out _laughing_.

Haruki shot is head up, dumbfounded “Wh- What ? Are you loosing your mind ? Did I said something stupid ?” his whole face burned from shame “Say something !”

When Akihiko eventually calmed down, Haruki was still waiting for an answer, displaying an obvious pouting face. Even with that frustrated look, he was angelic.

Akihiko closed the space between them by wrapping his arms around him. He nuzzled his head on the crook of his neck, fondly.

“You really are amazing, you know that ?” he tightened his embrace “There is just no end to that selflessness of yours...”. He felt Haruki's fingers gripping his shoulders and his whole body leaned against him. Akihiko could sense his heart beating wildly. He smiled, so relieved. And when Haruki finally spoke, it was like a charming spell casted through his ear.

“Aki, let's go to bed already”

*

“Are you sure ?...”

“One hundred percent”

“But...”

“It's fine, just... keep it slow, please”

They were sitting face to face on Haruki's bed, foreheads touching. Akihiko was struggling to keep himself from pinning the man in front of him down to the bed, again. Haruki leaned in, kissing him gently, before licking softly his lips

“Then, touch me”. Akihiko nodded.

_Keep it slow_.

It was a challenge. He wasn't familiar with this kind of physical relationship. He used to be rough, it was always this way. Getting by, using force.

With Haruki, it was all different.

Every touch, every kiss was enough to bring out a melody from his mouth. It was hard not to get drunk in those sounds actually.

He stayed focused on his task. Skimming through Haruki's body, without missing a single part of skin. A hand in the hair. Another running down the hip. More heated kisses shared. Not a single clothes remaining between them. Just a jumble of sweat and saliva. When they connected, Haruki's hands were gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles went white. Eyes alight with ardor, Akihiko was setting the pace. From adagio to allegro_. _They called each other name's with passion as they headed toward climax. Pleasure overflowing as they clang to each other. Voices coming out louder and louder. Minds blowing up. Hearts beating way too fast. _So close_. With a last impulsion, Akihiko brought them to the summit, a symphony played by them both echoed through the room. They stared at one another, panting hard.

Haruki was trying to catch his breath when Akihiko collapsed upon his chest, exhausted.

“You... alright ?” Haruki stroked his hair carefully.

“I... should be the one asking that” his voice was husky. He chuckled and tilted his head up to look at Haruki “Never felt this good in my entire life actually”

Despite of all what just happened, Haruki blushed madly “You're exagerrating...” he looked away and mumbled “But... it was... more intense than everything I dared to imagine...”

“Ooh, I'm a little concerned here” Akihiko said, lifting one hand to poke at Haruki's nose “That means I have to be any better next time to surpass your new fantasy ?” he watched with amusement his eyes going wide.

“No way, I will litteraly DIE”

“Aww, it can't be”

“Spare me”

“I'll let you go this time, but I think I need a hug now”

“That could be arranged”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys ! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
I actually planned this fic since the beginning, it was going to be my first fic, but I wasn't really confident about it... I tried again and again to write it with no success. It was hard to convey deep feelings in another language but I'm still happy of how it turned out, somehow.  
And I had this stupid challenge to myself about writing smut without any explicit words ah ah. Imagination is often better than reality ;)  
Hope it didn't frustrate you...
> 
> See you soon !
> 
> \- Berry ([Tumblr](https://berrynthewood.tumblr.com/) / [Twitter](https://twitter.com/berrynthewood/))
> 
> Berry


End file.
